| f
The Ad Reads ..............It
Really Means |
| Rough
condition : |
Too bad to lie
about |
| Parts
car : |
Beyond repair |
| Immaculate
: |
Just recently
washed |
| Concourse
: |
Waxed very
recently |
| Good
transportation : |
It's too ugly |
| Engine
quiet : |
Uses 90-weight oil |
| Needs
minor overhaul : |
Needs engine |
| Needs
major overhaul : |
Phone the junkyard |
| Burns
no oil : |
It all leaks out
!! |
| Rebuilt
engine : |
Cleaned the spark
plugs |
| Engine
blueprinted : |
I don't know what
it means either |
| Excellent
gas mileage : |
It's slow |
| One
owner : |
Can't give it
away |
| Sure
to appreciate : |
That's why I'm
selling it |
| Drive
it anywhere : |
But within 10
miles |
| Desirable
classic : |
That's why no one
wants it |
| Rare
classic : |
No one wanted it
even when it was new. |
| Ran
when stored : |
Now it won't start |
| Never
apart : |
Bolts too rounded
to loosen |
| Solid
as a rock : |
It is all rusted |
| Restored,
with 0 miles : |
Won't start |
| Restored,
with 2 miles : |
Won't stay running |
| Older
restoration : |
First owner washed
it |
| Good
investment : |
Can't be worth
much less |
| No
time to restore it : |
Can't obtain parts |
| 90%
complete : |
You do the other
90% |
| 95%
complete : |
Other 5% doesn't
exist |
| One
owner : |
Hertz |
| Good
tires : |
And that is all |
| Other
interests conflict : |
Spouse's
ultimatum: "Either that
#!!@&## thing goes or I go!" |
